A Cord Of Three Strands
My wife and I have many things in common and we have been very tight—we are the best of friends; but without God at the center of our relationship, the strongest trials in our weakest moments may have easily overpowered us.
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” This passage from Ecclesiastes 4:12 in the Old Testament, illustrates the power of having God at the center of your relationships, and especially marriage.
Two people that are bound together in Christ are stronger than the individuals themselves. Christian marriage is about much more than the union of one man and one woman. The Bible teaches us that God performs a miracle in marriage, uniting a husband and wife together in a covenant relationship with Him as one. The Cord of Three Strands is a symbol of enduring strength that secures that sacred union.
This union plays itself out in ways often so subtle that we miss it. Take for instance the times your spouse criticizes you for the same thing again and again on a surfacing character weakness. This is not just a battle of two wills, although two wills can keep the issue locked up for a good while if so inclined. By locked up I mean shutting God out of the equation. Let Him in entirely, and you begin to see yourself as God sees you—through the eyes of your spouse. Even if you were unfairly judged it would at least be a test of character by trial. How do you respond? How do you go about making things right? This is a process of the mind and the heart that requires wisdom from above.
God’s will is not only for us to change, and learn of his way to love, but to find security in both the knowledge and the strength he provides for us as every situation presents itself. As the savior, defender, sustainer and unifier of his people, God has a plan that works. What is often perceived as nagging by your partner, is actually God not letting go of you until you change. When you submit to that plan, God in his infinite wisdom not only changes you, but changes your spouse in ways you could never accomplish through critical retaliation. We just need to have God’s patience to see it through.
Jesus declares in John 15:5 just how important he — the third strand — is in our relationships are: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” The result is the difference between nothing and bearing much fruit; there is no middle ground. A marriage that is indifferently coasting or in trouble, is one that has lost touch with devotion to God, and is not remaining in the vine. This is not only the heart of Christian marriage, but the highway to personal growth.
What happens when you can’t see eye to eye, when the other person won’t change, and you can’t see God in the middle of it all? Remember the cord of three strands. If God is in your lives, remain in him, and he will prove to be the third strand for both of you.
Never yield to the temptation of listening to the enemy tell you that it is no use. But seek HIM with all your heart, lay down your sin and pride and know that it isn’t about you. It’s about your devotion to God and one another, and about what God is doing, and able to achieve among you. As you are woven in an unbreakable cord of three strands, nothing in all the world an beyond will be able to separate you and each other from the love of God.
May 8th, 2011 at 1:20 pm
These are beautiful words, thank you Bob. We have been through a lot together as couples. Endurance is everything. Thank you for sharing.